Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
