No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
