Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we're making bets on your personal life
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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