I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
