Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
