The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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