She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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