two words: eviction party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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