making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
