he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
