i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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