her vagine was all disorganized.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we made out on top of his cat.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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