dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
where are my eyebrows?
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