when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
