I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
