He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
