If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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