Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
