So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I will pee on everything he values.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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