I am puke
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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