My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
