also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
