I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
