He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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