I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
