Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
