i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
