We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just forgot I was standing up.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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