...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
