it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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