I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
