remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
