Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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