WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
