He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
