He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
