i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
