? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
