Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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