i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
