Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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