I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
