you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
