i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
