I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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