she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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