I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You smell like stripper and shame
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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