I can tuck mytits in my pants
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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