I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
