they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
