i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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