Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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