normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
