No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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